Doubts
by yuuki13
Summary: We all know that Katara is a strong confident woman, but sometimes doubt could also penetrate her strong walls, especially the pressure of becoming the next Fire Lady. Zutara Week 2017 Day 1 entry.


**Title: Doubt**

 **Summary:** We all know that Katara is a strong confident woman, but sometimes doubt could also penetrate her strong walls, especially the pressure of becoming the next Fire Lady.

 **Author's Notes:** It's easy to imagine Zuko being the Angst Lord, and Katara being the confident one in their relationship, so I just tried creating a scenario where Katara is being Angst Queen and Zuko comforts her.

Hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** Avatar not mine and Zutara is not canon. Sad life.

* * *

Ever since they publicly announced their engagement, Zuko and Katara had been busy with their duties as the Fire Lord and as soon to be Fire Lady – making appearances, aiding the most depressed towns, enforcing peace treaties, observing engagement traditions from both the Southern Water Tribe and Fire Nation, preparing for the wedding, and the list goes on and on.

But this day has been particularly difficult for the both of them. They went to Hoshino, an impoverished town two hours away from Caldera, to primarily present Katara as their soon-to-be Fire Lady and to inspect the town.

Just like most of the towns they have visited before, the townsfolk tried to pull off the most prestigious and most festive welcomes they can manage. But of course even though that it seems like a joyous occasion, not everyone is happy. Zuko and Katara still got some disgusted looks particularly from people in the older generations.

When Katara first experienced it, she wanted to lash out some words at them, but then Zuko stopped her.

" _Save it Katara." He tightened his hold on her hand before she could even start walking. "Giving a speech about how much the war destroyed people's lives; it won't easily change their perception that has been long molded under the ideology that the war is our way of sharing the world of our greatness. To them I'm probably a traitor who abandoned the Fire Nation's pursuit for greatness."_

" _But Zuko, we have to try," her sapphire eyes met his golden ones. She hated that people hated him for the pettiest reason they could think of. Indeed, he has been a failure and a man of mistakes, but now, he is long over that. He has proven that there are a lot more of good things more in him than his failures and mistakes. If there is one thing he deserves in this world, it is the people's love and respect._

" _I know that's why we're here." He gave her an encouraging smile. "If we want to change the way they think of me, of you, of us, and the world we have to let them appreciate that there is more into life in the harmony of peace than in the glory of war." He knew that glassy determined look, and as much as he loved it, some deeper realizations made him hate it. She loved him so much that she would save him first before her own self, his reputation before hers. But then, if he were in the same situation, he would also do the same._

" _You're right," she said slipping her arms around his torso. "Together, we can make it."_

" _Together, we can make it," he repeated their mantra, as she kissed the top of her head._

At the gates, the town mayor waited for them, and gave them a short tour. People crowded at the sides, mostly were happy to see them, some didn't care, and few usual disgusted people. A little girl suddenly stepped out of the line and hugged one of Zuko's legs. The guards were alert and ready to attack, but the Fire raised his hand, signaling the guards to calm down but to stay alert.

Zuko kneeled down to talk to the little girl. "What is it young one?" He added a little smile.

At first the girl didn't answer, she kept looking back to Zuko, then to her parents, but when she gathered enough courage, she looked Zuko in the eye. The brightest and happiest he had ever seen.

"Thank you for giving my father back!" The girl said, and then kissed his unscarred cheek. "The lady with you is really pretty," the girl whispered.

"You're welcome!" Zuko patted the girl's hair. "She's not only pretty, she's also brave and kind," Zuko whispered back. The girl's eyes brightened up and gave Katara an energetic wave.

When the little girl walked back to her parents, Zuko gave a little bow to her father. He felt delighted to personally see that some of the few lucky soldiers were able to reunite with their families. In return, the father also bowed back, very much thankful to the young Fire Lord for ending the war and letting him to be with his family again.

"Who would have thought that the humorless drama Lord would have a soft spot on kids?" Katara teased, smirking at him as they continue their walk around town.

"I do have a soft spot with kids… But do you know what I enjoy the most?"

"What?" Katara raised a brow at him.

"The act of making them," Zuko seductively whispered.

"Zuko!" Katara tried to pull off a glare at him but the blush on her cheeks betrayed her. Zuko just triumphantly smiled, holding back a guffaw. Zuko – 1, Katara – 0.

* * *

After their short tour around Hoshino, Zuko and Katara had to split since they have to be in their way back to Caldera by sun down. Katara would be visiting the infirmary, and orphanage. While Zuko had to stay in the town hall to have a meeting with the town mayor and other town officials, and after that, he would be visiting the factories and farmlands.

When he saw her walking away, he felt his chest throbbed. A part of him wanted to come with her, but a part of him thinks that he has to stop acting like a child. They came here to do a job, not for him to have some lovey-dovey time with her. Conflicted, he resumed the meeting with the mayor and the other officials.

* * *

By the time Katara reached the Hoshino's infirmary, there some guards who were carrying out a rampaging boy.

"Please! Help my mother! She's very sick! I'm begging you! Please!" the boy cried. He looked pretty much around Zuko's age when his mother left. Distorted between reality and memories, she felt like she was seeing little Zuko in the boy.

" _I wish I could have done something. If only I figured out what happened immediately… Maybe I could have at least gotten a clue where to find her…"_ she recalled his words when he told her about his mother.

"Bring me to her! I'm a healer!" Katara shouted as she ran towards the boy, ignoring the trail of panicked guards behind her.

"Thank you so much my Lady!" The boy gave her a hopeful smile.

* * *

A knock interrupted an official in the middle of his report. A guard came and immediately went over to Zuko. "The emissary from the colonies has arrived in the capital," the guard whispered to the Fire Lord's ear. It was the report he and his ministers had been waiting for. There were some tension building up between remaining Fire Nation colonies and Earth Kingdom and they want to resolve it before it could escalate to something else that would threaten the peace they worked hard for.

"I'll be on my way back to Caldera right after this meeting. Send a message that I'll be having a meeting with the ministers once I arrive," Zuko whispered back.

Right after the meeting with Hoshino's mayor and other officials, Zuko immediately went to the town's clinic to ask if Katara wanted to join him on his way back to Caldera, but upon his arrival, Sho, one of the guards in charge of Katara answered to him.

"Where is Lady Katara?"

"I'm sorry Sire, Lady Katara is busy attending to a _delicate patient_ right now," the guard replied. He and Katara came up with some codes for urgent and serious matters to naughty and petty ones. So when she says _'delicate patient'_ it meant that she does not want to be disturbed.

"If that's the case... Once she's done, kindly relay to her that I went back ahead to Caldera for an emergency meeting with my ministers," Zuko hold on a pause, a bit shy on what she was going to say next. "And Sho…"

"What is it, Sire?"

"Please make sure she is safe." It wasn't an order as the Fire Lord but more of a plead from a man in love.

"I understand my Lord," Sho gave Zuko and understanding smile. He might be Fire Lord, but it's also nice to see that he can also be a protective lover. "I swear to my honor that I would do all I can to make Lady Katara safe."

"Thank you so much, Sho." Zuko smiled back.

* * *

It was way past dinner time when the meeting ended. Zuko went to his room to change to more relaxed clothing when he found it strange that he hasn't seen Katara yet. When his meetings ended late, she would often wait in his room and welcome him with kisses or teases depending on her mood. Though Zuko doesn't really feel offended when Katara teases him that she adores his bed more than him, because he knew that she adores it most when she and him on his bed.

"Has Lady Katara eaten?" he asked one of the servants while waiting for his late dinner meal to be served.

"I'm afraid not, my Lord. She hasn't been out of her room ever since she arrived," the servant replied.

"Thank you." Worry cascaded in his whole being. This is what he hated about being the Fire Lord, there are really times when he can't be there for her when she really needed him.

He knocked twice, when no one answered him, he let himself inside her room. The lanterns were not lit and the only source of light was from the moon peeking at her open balcony. She was sitting on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees. She didn't feel his presence until the mattress sunk a bit because of his weight.

At first she thought he was an assassin and immediately went on attack mode, but when the moonlight illuminated the face of her visitor, she let her walls down and let the tears and words that she had held back, out of her. For once, she let herself vulnerable because she knew that she is safe under the presence of her beloved.

"What if I can't do this? What if I can't do my duties your Fire Lady? What if I failed? What if…" He heard her say an endless list of what-ifs as she burrowed herself on his chest. It hurts him to see her suffering like this because of him, but he has to be strong, he has to be strong for the both of them.

"Katara, calm down," he cupped her beautiful face between his calloused hands. "What happened, love?

When Katara gazed at Zuko's golden eyes, she felt her thoughts clear. She inhaled some air before she told him what happened in Hoshino.

"There was this boy who was rampaging in the infirmary, begging the people to check his sick mother. Of course, I came to his aid and immediately went to his very sick mother. I tried… I tried all I could to heal her, but in the end I… I wasn't able to save his mother." She could still vividly remember the details of that moment, like she was reliving the memory.

"The disappointed look of the people… How… How could I let another child grow without a mother when I could have done something?" her grip on the sheets tighten.

"Katara, love, listen," he held her hands and looked her in the eye intently. "During my first years as Fire Lord, actually, even now, I still feel nervous. That feeling that you have so much power in your hands that could affect the lives of millions of people, and the whole world. It can be really scary. It's something one cannot fail at. But the thing is I'm human and you as well. Failure and mistakes is part of our life, and every time we do so, we need to get up, learn from it, and make up what we have done. As much as we want to act like gods, and grant every person's wish, we cannot. The best thing we can do is to do our best to help them meet their destiny."

"You're right," Katara sighed and let the rest of her body slump on the bed, reflecting over what Zuko had just said. "I guess I'm just over reacting at things. I'm sorry."

"No, you're not over reacting. It's just show how passionate you are, and that's just one of the things I love about you. The Fire Nation is very lucky to have a Fire Lady like you." Zuko smiled while Katara gestured him to lie beside her. They cuddled each other in silence. Zuko was playing with Katara's hair, while Katara drew imaginary circles on his chest.

Minutes later, a servant knocked at Katara's door. "Lady Katara, is Fire Lord Zuko with you? Some a message from Lord Sokka has arrived," the servant announced. Zuko was about to answer when Katara stopped him by giving a short passionate kiss on his lips.

"Can you stay with me for the night? No work, no business with other people, just the two of us?" Katara whispered, looking at Zuko with such begging eyes, that there was no way he can say no.

"Anything to make you happy," he replied, earning another kiss from Katara.

"Thank you, and Zuko?"

"What is it, love?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

Just in case, you're wondering, Sokka's messages were about his twins with Suki. Ever since they were born, Sokka had been writing to Zuko how the twins are, you know his way of being a doting father. (like Maes Hughes to Roy Mustang of FMA) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~

I have another entry for Day 1: Fire Lady, but I think it's too short to be published in FF (around 700 words), if you're interested it's in my tumblr, zutaraturtleduck.


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